I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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