How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
