I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
