dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
