Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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