Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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