like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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