help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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