I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
