I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Shame - the story of my life.
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