there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
