Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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