I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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