If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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