I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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