why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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