you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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