woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
