I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
