I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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