Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Randomize
