I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.