We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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