In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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