Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
