Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
