im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize