Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize