Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
