Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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