My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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