All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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