She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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