Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
