I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
