call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize