Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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