White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
