Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
