the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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