at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize