I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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