My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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