i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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