so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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