I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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