It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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