I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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