we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
