I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
