Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
