Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize